If they call you weirdo.
All my life, I've had to deal with people thinking I'm weird.
You know how kids are in high school, trying to find themselves. They think it's cool to talk down, like, “What's wrong with you? Why you lookin’ like that? Why you acting like that? Like, you're weird. We're better than you.” That's like the word. It’s always, “Oh, weirdo, weirdo, weirdo.”
It would really

irritate me because I would always get it when I would be minding my business. You took the time out of your day to actually walk over here. ‘Cause I wasn't in your face. To come tell me this? Like, why am I bothering you?
I see a lot of stuff in everyday people that I think is actually weird.
There's people who get offended by other people's confidence in themselves. I think that's weird. People who hurt people are weird. People who want to take advantage of people—that's

weird. People who want to use and abuse people. People who shame others for being free thinkers. To conform into social norms just because someone told you you had to rather than go do what you actually want to do, be who you want to be—that's weird.
Honestly, anything other than just being yourself is just weird. ‘Cause if you're not being yourself, then, like, who are

you doing it for? What are you doing it for? And that's weird. Now, like, you really gotta sit down with yourself and think about that. You're not even living for yourself—that's super weird.
All I can say is there's so many people out here who are afraid to be themselves. So many people out here who just want to fit in. You know, they're like

robots—nothing really special about them. They don't really have anything to talk about, really, anything to offer to the world that shows a different perspective.
Just be glad that you're not a Square Jane. You're not gonna be forgettable.
Be glad that you're

Summer shares how she's dealt with being called a "weirdo" since childhood and her unique relationship with the word.

If They Call You a Weirdo

Get the hell on.
For the folks out there still looking for their soulmate, know yourself. I know it's, like, so cliche but oh my God, like, you should not be dating if you don't know yourself. That shit where, ‘Oh, how are you going to love somebody else if you don’t love yourself?’ Like, that shit’s so real. Oh my God.
I know it

sounds like common sense but people have personal problems and they take their own shit out on you. Because someone is doing you a certain way doesn't mean that you're worthless or doesn't mean that you're not shit or that you deserved it—I used to think I would deserve half of the shit that would happen to me, but it don't have nothing to do with me. Niggas wasn't raised right. You know, they got daddy issues or mama issues like everybody else, they got childhood trauma that they have not worked through and they takin’ that shit out on you.

When you love yourself, like, having the shit that people try to put you through, you're not even finna go for it. All the red flags are red and you get the hell off.
If I see that you are just deadass taking me for granted, like, there's just nothing that I can do to

make you stop treating me like shit, then I would just go. I be on the next chapter in my life. By the time I get over it, I always be in the next chapter of my life. I've been elevated somehow ‘cause I like to stay productive. I don't like wasting time.
See, I feel like women—you know, we're loving creatures. We just be trying to see a red flag as pink. We'll squint our eyes and try to turn it orange or some shit. It’s red. You just be wanting it to work so you just be like, “No, it's,

orange. It's pink.” It's red. Let it be red. Save yourself. Run.
Red flags. There's already red flags, you know? Narcissistic behavior. Pathological liars. That's scary too. Cheating—like, don't let nobody cheat on you, disrespect you like that. People who don't want

to pull their own weight. They want you to go do all the work—they want to sit on your couch and shit, spin up your bed.
There's so many different ways where, you know, somebody who's giving more than you're giving. You can’t not pull your own weight in a family situation or in a relationship. Too much hoodshit ain't gonna get you nowhere. Too much routine, like, boring shit—that shit ain't going to get your pussy wet. You can't have all good or all hood. Like, you gotta have both. A little hood but still a little

good. Good balance.
Now I'm over here sounding like some love guru. But I didn't been through enough shit to know. What I noticed is everybody got different love languages so everybody gonna want, you know, different things.
For me, my love language is time and doing things for me. And I don't mean like material shit—I mean, like, help. Acts of service. For things to be reciprocated. That's very important to me. I rub your

back. You rub my back. I rub your feet. You rub my feet. I cook, you clean, like, no gender rules. We are a team. Actions speak louder than words. Like, that's what I learned. Like, niggas will say a lot of shit to you. They'll say what they gonna do—hey say what they're going to do but when somebody comes and puts in the time and effort and they don't even talk about it, they just do it, it's deadass beautiful ‘cause unfortunately, like, everybody doesn't get to find this in their

lifetime.
You know you gotta reciprocate on every level. Like, don't fucking settle for shit. I don't care—if somebody's going to do it, somebody's gonna do it all.

A little piece of life advice from Summer: don’t waste your time.

Get the Hell On

This mindset collection contains adult language.
My name is Summer and welcome to my Mindset.
My journey into music started with a high school heartbreak when I was, like, 15 or 16. Boo hoo hoo. And now I'm laughing to the bank. Ha ha ha ha.
Sorry. I’m—I apologize. I been up for two days straight.

I was up since yesterday—like, never went to sleep. I don't know. I just had a lot on my mind—got a lot of shit to do with this album and it's just, like, it's not enough time. I don't have time to sleep. By the time I decide to go to sleep, it's time to get up so it just never ends.
I carry a lot of people's burdens. I just am always trying to help people too. I'm trying to learn now at 25, it’s every

man for themselves-type shit ‘cause the nice stuff gets you nowhere.
“Please welcome Summer Walker.”
“Congratulations Summer Walker, you are part of—”
“Okay Summer Walker, how are you honey?”
“I saw you.” “Thank you.”
(applause, unintelligible)
“So, thanks.”
I have a very good heart—so much that it can make me very naive. When I have to be dragged and shit through

blogs for absolutely nothing and I still be like, “Is this even worth it?” ‘Cause, you know, haters or whatever, they'll just wake up in the morning. They ain't got no life. They'll make up any type of rumor.
People are evil. They will photoshop fake pictures of you doing shit that you ain't never even did and post that shit. And then you gotta try to deal with that. And then there's the idiots that believe it. And now you're

getting bullied and I just be like, “Bro.” And you never had no privacy. I just be like, “Is this worth it?”
I didn't understand why I felt the way I felt about a lot of the things. I just really didn't understand a lot of shit until I went and did the work. I didn't understand my childhood trauma. I didn't understand, like, my astrology chart. Didn't

understand my power. Didn't understand a lot of things.
As I did that work, I knew who I was. Then the confidence just came flowing, because I didn't used to have it at all.
I also understand that thing where people have, like—they—internal issues that they haven't worked out. They haven't worked through, and it has nothing to do with me. The same shit they did to me, they gon’ to do to the next person ‘cause they not healed yet. They not

ready to do right.
But now I feel like I'm moving onto a deeper type of healing.
I'm not an entertainer. I'm just a song writer, really. I just happen to sing my own shit. I'm still here because the money is good to help me create this paradise

away from everyone.
I finally have enough land for a massive garden. I finally have all the sound bowls and all the crystals that I want and all the plants just going through my house like a jungle. I go home to, like, this

peaceful paradise, and so that's why I keep going. I just want to create that paradise for me, where I can just get away from all that shit.
Everybody else may think of, like, “Okay, this is about me. This is about my life. Like, my actions only affect me.” But, like, I don't know—I have this thing where, like, it's like we're a blanket and each one of us

is a part of the stitch of the blanket. I just feel like we all have to work together and be connected to, like, keep this blanket from ripping.
I feel like that's what I'm supposed to do on this Earth. Period.
Right now, I'm helping people heal with their relationships and such. I'm healing with my

music.
My name is Summer and welcome to my Mindset.

A high school heartbreak started her journey into music, but what drives singer-songwriter Summer Walker to continue? Summer shares realizations she's had about both her music and her life.

Is This Worth It?

Episode 1: I may be quiet, but don't try me.
If you struggle with anxiety, you're an introvert, or you’ve ever felt out of place, this episode is for you.
I

would eat lunch in the library or the computer lab while the other kids in high school would eat in the cafeteria. Some people have, like, a story of, like, high school was a thing for them—either they were really popular or they were on the cheerleading squad and they had, like, some record breaking basketball score or they were picked on and that made them this. But I just… high school was really, like, just minding

my business. I don’t know.
I guess it kind of just to me be like not fair. Hella people can just go outside and, like, start talking to anybody and then it's, like, they would just relate instantly. It's like, “Yeah, I relate.” You relate to them, they relate to you.
And for a lot of people, they can go almost anywhere and do that, and make, like, a bunch of friends and stuff. And then, like, when they speak, it's, like, nothing

that comes out of their mouth is looked at as abnormal. So watching people do that opposed to, like, my social experiences are completely different experiences.
I've never been impressed by the industry. I don't even go to the studio. I record in my house, in my closet. I don't go to the studio. You go to the studio, people get into all that weird shit. Niggas snortin’ coke, niggas doing weird shit. What I need to be at a studio for?

I can do this shit at home.
My first boyfriend. He had did me wrong, and the first thing I did—I was at my mom's house and I was just, oh my God. This—I think this might be the only time that I just sat around and just cried and cried and cried. I just sat and I was just in the bed for days, just boo-hooing. And then I just got up, and I sat down next to the

bed, and I got my guitar. I barely don’t know how to play shit, and I'm sitting there strumming. You know, just cryin' and just singing. So corny.
My mom walk in. She’s like, “Oh my God, are you okay?” My dad—my dad has no fucking emotions so he thought this shit was funny. He come in. He laughin’ at me. He like, “Oh, her first heartbreak. You'll be all right.” And they just thought it was funny.
But nah, like, that was the

first time. And then ever since then, that's my coping mechanism. I go, “Okay, I'm gonna go write a song now. Or two. Or three. And just get it out.” Just happened to work out.
“Before Summer Walker would become one of the hottest new R&B acts, she was actually posting covers onto YouTube, just hoping to get discovered.”
“I’m here with Summer Walker—”
“Congratulations, Summer Walker! You are part of—”
“Hi. Thank you so much. I didn't

expect this.”
I wanted to just write. I literally thought I could just write the music and sing the song and record it and then, like, put it out and then, like, make the same amount of money and then, like, carry on, and go back home. But then it's like, ‘Oh… I have to go to the show. And then I gotta go meet people. Take pictures. Boo.’

I don't like people looking at me. Like, having thousands and thousands and thousands of people just staring at me while I'm pouring out, you know, my heart in these vulnerable ass songs. Like, it's like literally standing in front of a crowd, in a stadium, and opening up your diary and sitting down in the middle of the stadium and just reading it. It's, like, embarrassing. I don’t know.

First tour I was on with 6LACK and then they put me on tour again. It was my own tour this time. I'm an introvert, and there was never any time to be alone—like, that is essential to my being to recharge. And it's like, now I'm off the stage. And now people—I go back to my—’cause I have the room in the back of the bus. And now people are knocking on my door, trying to come in my room,

trying to sit on my bed, trying to tell me about what had just happened. And it's, like, I need everybody to go away, bro, so I can, like, recharge for this next day where I got to do everything over again. It just never ends.
Halfway through, I just couldn't do it. I was just trying to get this anxiety under control. And they saw that, ‘cause then I started smoking to try to cope.

‘Cause I don't smoke. I don't even drink. I don't do none of that shit. Like, I was having to drink every day, whether it was wine, then it started getting to, like, Ciroc and it was just, like, okay, well, we're not going to have this.
And that was very noble of them, that was fire of them, because, you know, to care about my wellbeing… 'cause you know, a lot of labels could just be like, ‘Well, we don't give a shit. Get it together. Take whatever drugs you got to take and get out there.’ But yeah, they was like, “No, Summer. You don't

smoke. This is not good. So cut it out and just go home.” And I was so relieved. My social anxiety just got the best of me. I do not like performing. So I went home.
I hate to say it. Due to quarantine and everything, like, this is actually pretty cool for my career because I can do everything online. I can do my shows virtually.

I can do things like this. I can do, you know, a little post on Instagram. Everything's very virtual and I don't really have to go do too much interacting.
So I'm supposed to have Coachella. And I was begging. I was like, “Oh God, please, please, please. I don't want to do it. Please.” They were like, “Bro, you can't pass this up.” And then COVID hit. And I was like—I mean, like, no disrespect, ‘cause this shit sucks. COVID really sucks.

But I was so ecstatic about not having to do Coachella. ‘Cause this shit is hard.
I'm not the touchy touchy type of person. I don't want to touch you. I don't want you to touch me. Transfer of energy. And then there's germs. Y'all always laughing at Summer for not wanting to touch y'all, but now here we are with COVID. Look at you now. But that shit real. Like, I don't like that. My hands would shake. And, you know, you get a lump in your

throat. Ooh, I get to sweating. It's just so much being around people.
I'm an empath too, so it's like I can feel what everybody else is dealing with. So my main thing that I hated the most was the meet-and-greets. And people took that as like, “Oh, she's bougie. She—she doesn't appreciate her fans,” blah, blah, blah. Being an empath—now I'm taking your problems with me after you touch me.

And that shit’s horrible. It's just, like, such a huge amount of energy to have to give out. I just be so drained.
See, the problem is I'm black. I just have to be honest. White girls have social anxiety and all different types of mental health struggles that they're dealing with and it's perfectly fine. Like, perfectly fine. It's—when they talk about it, it's like, “Aww. Poor her. Well, I hope she gets

better. And I hope that she gets therapy and the therapy works.”
I remember one time Wendy Williams had got on her show and she was making fun of me for coming out and saying what I said about my social anxiety. And she pulled up a picture of me, like, wearing one of my outfits I was wearing on stage. And she was like, “Well, how can you have social anxiety if you're wearing this?”
I just want to clear up, like—I have a very big

personality. And there are so many people with social anxiety who have very big personalities. They dress however they want to dress, whether that's in loud colors, slutty outfits, fuckin’... a punk rock suit, a dinosaur outfit. We have personality. We're just comfortable with showing our personality with the people we're comfortable around, and that's what I wish people would understand about it. ‘Cause then they'll

see me with my friends or my boyfriend, and they'll be like—or they'll even, you know, they'll see me out at the club. And they're like, “She's at the club and she's wearing that? And she shakin' her ass?” It's like, yeah, but look who I'm with. My friends. Why would I be loud as hell telling all my business, going completely nuts with a person that I don't even know? That I just met this second? I don't know you.

People really think that I'm, like, quiet and scary and, like, a pushover that won't speak up for myself or anything. And that's what also would make me draw myself away. I'd rather just get away from people because people try you. They'll try you. Like, that little social anxiety shit. “She's scary. She quiet.” Okay. Now, now we're in a fucking situation. That's the funny thing.
I don't like confrontation but I will whoop your ass.

I will whoop your ass. I just want to say that on the record. I just—I'm not proud of it. I'm just saying I just got off of probation for whooping someone's ass. So that's why I'm like, ‘Lemme just… go over here.’ I don't want to have to whoop nobody ass today. I don't want to have to do it today. ‘Cause I'm very with the shizz. Very loud, very ratchet. But people just don't know that ‘cause, you know, I be minding my business.
For a

lot of people who do have social anxiety, please don't get them fucked up. They're still fun as fuck. They're silly as hell. They’re loud as hell. Just not with you. ‘Cause you not they friend.
Be nice to them and you'll see. Be their friend and maybe you'll get some of that good, juicy joy that they have to spread.

Summer never wanted to be a performer. She just wanted to make music. Summer delves into her struggles with social anxiety, the exhaustions of touring, and the assumptions people put on her for being an introvert.

Don't Try Me

I used to internalize a lot of things, thinking, like, it was my fault, instead of thinking other people actually just have fucked up issues and they take it out on you sometimes. Or a lot of times.
Episode 2.
It was like a team effort that got me to where

I am—like, my shadow work came with my spiritual teacher, and my childhood trauma came from with my therapist.
Justice, at my label—he got me my therapist. He was just pushing her down my throat and pushing her down my throat. And I was like, “No. I don't need it. I already know what the problem is so what do I need her for? What she gon' tell me that I don't already know? What's the point?”
But one day, he brought her to my New York show. And I guess he didn't think I didn't

figure it out. I was like, “I know you brought her here.” He's like, “How did you know?” I'm like, “I mean, this random lady keep coming to my shit.” She came to my meet-and-greet at the club. She came to my show. She's sitting here observing like a doctor. Like, who else would this be?
The first meet-and-greet she came to, I ended up getting booed. It was my first time ever getting booed.
I go into this meet-and-greet, which I hate doing. People staring at you and they're expecting you to, like, get lit and do all this crazy

shit and, like, be the center of attention—yet I'm pulling up and I don't have any of my friends. It's just, like, me and my label person. I'm, like, sitting here and they're staring at me and I’m staring at them.
They pass me the mic. ‘Why are they passing me the mic?’ I guess the promoter lied and told everybody that I was going to perform.
That is a lot of money and that requires a band and a whole production to go on so I don't know why you

think I would be singing in this little ass club. But anyway, everybody gets pissed. They're like, “Well, why isn't she performing?  We paid to see her perform. She's just standing in the section.” And then everybody is just— “Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!” They got lights on me, flashes on me. “Boo!” I'm like, ‘Okay… Anxiety on 4000. I'm gonna get up and go.’
The next day, we go to the actual show. It's this big ass thing.

And so we're in the dressing room and it's fucking nuts. Shit is packed. Dancers are riding, wigs are flying. It's just like—it's just too much. Somehow, I end up breaking down, crying. She came at this, you know, moment where, like, I'm breaking down and all this shit is happening, and I guess I really need her.

The biggest revelation I had or a breakthrough with my therapist so far was, like, healing my childhood trauma. It's like this big reveal. The reaction was, like… literally all I could say was, “Ohhh. Wow. Like, forreal? That's crazy! If

I had known that, I wouldn't have did half of this shit!” 
She also, you know, tried to help me through my relationship and through my pregnancy because that shit was a hot mess. It was just really good to have her there.
That's when I was like, ‘Okay, money can buy you happiness. It can buy you healing.’ That's the only way I think money can buy you happiness ‘cause you can be, you know, rich as fuck—you can have all this shit—but if you're

not happy on the inside or not healed on the inside or still dealing with stuff that you're, like, ignoring, then it doesn't matter how much money you got. You still gonna be miserable.
Me and my teacher, we had figured out a way to heal. Shadow work is the bomb. Shadow work is basically all the negative shit that you got going on with you

that you need to take responsibility for. It may not even be your fault. You still just got to take responsibility for the situation that you have at hand, whether, you know, you just like that or your parents did it to you or, you know, a man did to you or your girl did it to you or whoever did it to you that's making you act in a way that's unflattering.
You figure out what it is. You feel it. You let it run through you and you look it in the eye, you grab it by the

neck, and you take it down. And then you, like, just go up from there. It's like a mission. ‘This is what I got to do. This is what I got to work on.’ It's introspection. It's a little chaotic. It can hurt. But don't run from it. ‘Cause you're gonna come out way better.

The black community—they don't really want to accept therapy. Like, they feel like the word ‘therapy’ just means that you're crazy. They like to tell you that you're doing too much, like, you're just overreacting. I'm faking it. I'm overreacting. I'm doing too much. I'm lying.
Or, they just want to beat it out of you. Like, when you're a kid, mostly when you're a young child with some type of mental disorder,

whether that may be, like, social anxiety or schizophrenia or, like, even depression or—even if it was like ADHD, black people just feel like, “Well, just beat them. Beat it out of them. Whoop they ass and I bet you they'll figure it out.” Like, that's how—that's a whole thing.
So… I don't know what's up with the black community in that. But yeah. That was my—the main response that I got. “She's faking it.” And that was so hurtful to

me, ‘cause I was just like, “Why would I—? It doesn't even make no sense.” Who lies about that? What do I get out of that? I don't know. What would I get out of that? I'm not getting anything out of that. You think I want sympathy?
Somebody talking about they got depression. Somebody talking about they got anxiety. They talking about they got schizophrenia or whatever. People always want to laugh. It’s: ‘hehehe, kekeke.’ But then when the person commit suicide, now it's: “Oh, I just seen ‘em

yesterday. Oh, I thought they were fine. I thought it wasn't that big of a deal.” Like, now you care. Like, if they don't care, when you're telling them that, then fuck them, bro. Go be around somebody else who gonna help you get through that shit.
Pushing it down is not gonna get you anywhere. If you feel a certain type of way and you've been feeling a certain type of way for a long time,

don't ignore the signs because it can turn into something worse. It can turn into cutting. It can turn into drug abuse. It can turn into suicide. Do not ignore it. Get help. Work through it. And if other people don't want to help you get help, or other people don't want to acknowledge what you're talking about, cut them off or do whatever you gotta do ‘cause they don't really care about you.

If you're considering therapy, everybody’s experience is different. You don't know what you're gonna get out of this situation. You could get absolutely nothing or you could get something amazing. 
Everybody gon’ have a different type of therapist ‘cause everybody likes to be talked to differently. I'm the type of person who like, ‘I want the truth. I want the whole cold truth. Slap me in the

face with it so we can get it over with so we can fix it.’
Some people want the truth in, like, little increments ‘cause that's easier to swallow. Some people want to be lied to for a minute ‘cause it feels better. And then there's other people that don't want the truth yet.
There's still more work to be done. It just depends on what you're willing to hear. What you're willing to swallow. But it's worth trying.

Working through trauma is never easy. Summer opens up about the tools, support, and realizations that were required for her to finally start her journey towards healing.

Give Me the Truth

Episode 3: What I believe.
I grew up in a Baptist home and they just kept tryna tell me like, “This is how it is. This is how it is.” But it didn't make much sense to me. ‘Cause I had to go to church a lot and I paid attention.

Like, I would sit in the front with pen and pad and, like, try to really understand what the preacher was talking about. But then I realized, like, he wasn't really talking about nothing. Just the things that I was seeing in the church, I was like, ‘It's not adding up.’ It wasn't explaining my connection to God. It wasn't telling me how to get closer to God.
It was just like, “Believe this because we say. And this is how this is because we say. You want to talk to God and get closer to

God? Just close your eyes and ask Him for what you want.” Like, I don't know. It sounds like a magical genie. And then if it don't happen, “that wasn't God's plan.” And if it do happen, “that was in God's plan, too.” I was like, this is just kind of shallow to me.
I don't do well with things where it's like, “Here. Do this ‘cause I told you to.” And then when I ask you why, you ain't got no answer. So then I was like, ‘Okay. I need something deeper. I need something better than this. This is not doing anything for me.’

I think people just are so conditioned to be told Earth is simple and Earth is small and Earth is one way, when this is like a whole galaxy. Many, many, many different species that we haven't even—well, that a lot of people have seen. Even if they've seen it, they don't really want to believe it or they don't want to… they don't want to speak up about it ‘cause they don't want to be labeled as nuts or anything.
But I believe if you

ask anybody, even kids—people don't like to believe kids—people have had experiences of things that are completely supernatural.
Meditation to me is like the highest form of prayer. As you meditate, you can feel yourself connecting with the actual universe beyond what you can see.

There are some people who are tuned into frequencies, who can see and hear different things. And there are some people who—they just not opened up enough yet to be able to see or hear. People who haven't obtained, like, this spiritual level. They just be very close-minded.
I ain't got time for people who are not spiritual to be thinking that you

crazy and shit. I believe in ghosts, aliens, all that shit. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed—only converted from one form of energy to another. Isaac Newton or whoever the hell said that shit.
I believe in reincarnation—that your body want you transfer onto the next journey. Your soul or your spirit just comes out. Then you just

come back again in a different body. I believe in spirits so I don't think you just disappear and disintegrate into thin air once you die.
I deal with past life regression. I think that has to do with my social anxiety. That's what past life regression is: Suffering from shit that happened to you that your spirit remember but your brain might not. You just don't know why. ‘Why do you feel this way? Why do you feel this way?’ ‘Cause of what you had to deal with last

time. Think it's just like PTSD from your last incarnation. 
It's funny because this spirit, this go ‘round, I feel like a man. My mom had a reading and somebody had told them that I was an Asian man who died in war.
It's kind of funny that I just kind of feel like a man, and then I'm obsessed with all this Asian shit and I don't know why. And then my anxiety comes from: I be thinking people tryna kill me all

day. That's where it really come from. It's like on some PTSD shit from the war. I just be thinking people tryna kill me all day. I always been like that.
If you offer me water and shit, if I didn't bring it from my house or whatever, I don't trust you like that, I'm not taking it. I won't take no food from you. I be feeling like you're tryna poison me or some shit. The dots definitely seem to connect.

In my next life, I would hope that my life would be as good as it is now.
How my life is set up, I manifested it by the timeframes. Down to the T of everything—down to the type of car, to the type of house, and everything else that I had asked for in life. To the T. When you ask for something and you manifesting something, you need to be very specific.

The fucked up shit in my life, I manifested that too. Like, I understand now.
I believe. That's the first thing of manifesting—you have to believe. You can't even second guess it. You gotta know it's gon’ to happen. That's it. It's gon’ happen.
I think about it all day. I obsess over it. It don't be like an intentional thing, like, ‘Okay, so now I'm going to wake up in the morning. I'm going to say this to manifest.’ It just be like—I'll just be chilling in the day and I'll be like—I'll speak like I already got it or something like, ‘Oh my God, it's gonna be so

funny, it's gonna be so cute when I'm in this situation. It's gonna be so funny when I have this situation.’ I'll just say shit like that, like, throughout the day. ‘I'm just going to love it when I'm in this situation.’ Like, speaking as though it's, like, it's about to happen tomorrow.
I speak my shit to me. I feel like you start speaking your shit to other shit, like, people, you get bad juju on your stuff. Like, I don't know. I'm superstitious about that stuff.
I could be crazy and everything just could be falling perfectly in-line how I wanted it to be out of

nowhere. But I think that manifesting shit work. I don't know, all that shit just be happening, like…
It could be a coincidence. All of this shit could be a coincidence. But that's a lot of coincidences.
I'm not gon’ cap. Like, when I first started getting into astrology, I thought that shit was like, ‘Oh, you know, people just had they little horoscopes.’ “Yeah, I'm an Aries. I'm this. I'm that. Like,

oh, I'm compatible with dating with this person.” Like, that's what I always hear people talk about. They don't get into the nitty gritty of it. But when I started seeing, that shit is so real. Like, it's just crazy because when you read like the Aries or read the whatever sign, it's, like, me to the T—like, down to the very, very, very little details of everything. It's like a whole new explanation of you. You have

it on paper and then you start to realize why you react a certain way and why you do certain things that you do, why you feel a certain way, why certain situations will bring certain things out of you. If we all understood astrology, life would be so much easier.
Why do people drive around with a GPS and it tells you where traffic might show or it'll tell you where the red lights are, where, you know, where the police may

be. Like, it can show you different things, and it shows you how to navigate and get around, and people use GPS all day.
But then when it come to, like, they life, they just be free willy nilly. They don't even try to check, you know, what is gonna be in this and what is gonna be in that? Why not use a GPS for life that, you know, the Creator has gifted you? Makes life easier. Why not use

it? You be taking a gamble on life.
People be planning trips and doing business deals and doing things on a gamble ‘cause they don't pay attention to they signs and they don't pay attention to where the stars are, where the planets are. But if you knew, you wouldn't have to gamble because you would

already know it's gonna happen.
My teacher. I told him I was going on a trip. He was like, “No, baby, you don't need to fly that day.” I'm like, “Why?” He, like, “You seein’ mercury retrograde,” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I ain't believe it. I booked the shit anyway.
Worst. Day. Ever.
I didn't even get to fly out. From the time that I woke up that day. I get to the airport—they lost my bags. They changed the flight and didn't tell

anybody. So now I'm waiting in the airport for, like, two hours, three hours, waiting on this next flight. Then I get ready to get on the flight. Now we on the plane, and they talking about the pilot is late. And shit just started getting so weird that I was like, ‘You know what? I don't know how much worse this could get, but I'm not even finna get on this plane.’
When I left, I called him. I was like, ‘Is this dude doing fucking magic right now? Like, what's going on?’ And he's like, “I told you. It's very simple.

You can tell what's going to happen just by paying attention to what the planet is in.”
When I started seeing you can literally avoid shit by just knowing what planet is in what, I was like, ‘Oh shit.’
I noticed every time Pluto is in retrograde, I lose my fucking mind. Every time, bro. Every time. I do some crazy shit. I do some

crazy shit. And then I—once I started to become more aware of, like, planets and things, then I would start to see the pattern. I'm like, “Yo, I'm wil’ing out. Let me just check.”
I was like, “Wendel, like, is Pluto in any type of situation right now?” He was like, “Yes.” I was like, “Oh, wow. This shit is nuts.”
That's what I want to learn—how to be able to tell what is in what, what is in what. ‘Cause once you figure that out, mans, you

not even gonna have no issues. You gon’ knowin’ to not do that deal. You gon’ knowin’ to not take that trip. You gon’ know: Today, I just need to chill. I might do something nuts today. Like, I don't even need to talk to nobody.
I like the knowledge part of spirituality. I like to read. I like to learn and know

different shit. It's like facts. If you line this planet up with these stars in this Zodiac sign, you're going to get this answer and you're going to be able to see it in real time in front of your face. That's, like, facts type shit. I could see it. I could feel it. I could understand it. There's tools to, like, go further and deeper into what I'm trying to learn.
That was the type of progress that I was trying to get than just sitting

there, praying to White Jesus.
When you ignorant, you don't know shit. You know, you move different. Ignorant of the world or knowledge itself, it don't really ever pan out too well.
People get sometimes too caught up in life, and they forget to care about the important things and things that's gonna heal them and make them better. They just get so caught up in paying the bills and taking

care of their kids and stuff, so it is up to you to step outside of your comfort zone and understand that this is a lot more complicated than the little American dream, white picket fence, they gave you.
I used to think I was weird, basically, for how I thought. I know it sounds fucked up. I'm glad I am where I am mentally and spiritually so far. I'm confident in my mindset now.

Summer shares her experiences growing up in a Baptist home and opens up about what she truly believes in: reincarnation, manifestation, and astrology.

Shit is Real

Episode 4: Princess Bubbles.
I used to be like, “I'm not having no kids. I'm not having no kids.” I would say that for so long and meant it—“I'm never having no kids, blah, blah, blah, blah.” ‘Cause this world’s corrupt as hell.

That was the reason why. It's not that I never wanted kids. I just didn't want to bring them into this trifling ass world, and then it’s just funny that when I did bring her in, the world is, like, in its most trifling state.
It is funny because I couldn't get pregnant. It's weird, like, I don't know, like, the power of that tongue is weird. Like, I was saying that for a while, I couldn't get pregnant. And then all of a sudden, I just changed it up. I was like, “Well, I want to have a baby. I want to have a baby.” Just kept saying it.
But the way I

said it. I never said I wanted a husband. I said, “I want a baby daddy,” when I was manifesting it. I said, “I want a baby daddy. Or two. Or three.”
And I got just that: A baby daddy. Not a husband. Not a father. I got a baby daddy.
I

understand now the power of my tongue. I even manifested the way that my daughter looks, which is actually kind of scary. She came out, from the tip of her toe to the strand of her hair, how I pictured in my head. Like, I said it in my head when I was pregnant. I was like—I know it sound vain but when I was pregnant, I was like—“I want her hair to be like this. I want her eyes to be like this. Nose like this, lips like this, skin like this…” Came out exactly how I said it. Shit was crazy.

It was funny. I named her Bubbles. It fits ‘cause she has this really bubbly personality. She’s just so cute and so silly and sweet and she just loves to give a good, big, gummy smile.
I can be having the worst day. Like, the totally—like, the world is ending. And then I just get with her and it just be like… it's just better. It's just so much better now. Even with everything

be like hella shitty—like, one of them nights where she'll keep me up ‘til 5:00 AM and 7:00 AM and she just putting me through hell, and then I just see her little smile and I just be like, ‘Oh, it's okay.’ It's like the Sour Patch Kids—first they're sour. Then they're sweet.
Just her smile alone is just, like, enough.

I do feel like I have to be a little bit more protective than how people used to have to be. At the same time, I feel like that just goes with, like, teaching your children—like, setting them up for the outside world. Don't shelter them. Tell them how it is. Make sure they're equipped. Make sure they got the knowledge. Make sure they know taekwondo. Make sure they know they

self-defense so when they do go out there and, you know, people get to acting stupid, they know what they gotta do ‘cause you can't be with them all the time so… I don't know. I'm not trying to tell nobody how to parent. I'm just saying for me.
I also want to raise her to be very self-aware, very confident. I want her to be very independent. I want her to know, like, to not always follow the narrative given to you by the news and things of that nature. So, like—I just want her to be very, self-sufficient, very free thinking, like, think first so… I don't want her to be a part of the groupthink.

I would despise if she became a musician or an artist, which it kind of scares me because she loves music. She loves when I sing to her. She loves jazz—oh my God, she loves jazz more than anything. She got a lot of classical too. But she likes music music. Like, if I play rap or even if I play old school, she don't really fuck with that, but she likes jazz and all that.
But I'm not gonna tell her what to do with her life. You know, you do what you want to do. But I would not

like that.
I want to be able to, like, connect with the type of person she is. Like, understand who she is, not who I want her to be or anything like that. That's, like, what I didn't get so I'd rather her have had that.
No

disrespect but farthest thing from honestly either of my parents. They didn't really get a lot of things. They're brought up in that old school type of thing where it's like we go to work and we make money. We look nice. We put on our face for society. And we make sure that we're

likable and we're presentable and that's what life's about. It used to hurt me real bad but now I get it. Like, it don't bother me no more ‘cause I understand. Their mental capacity—like, they can't even fathom half the shit that I be saying so I can't expect them to understand me.
Most people, they be like, ‘Okay, well, I didn't like that. My mom did that to me, blah, blah, blah, so I'm not going to do that to her.’ But it's kind of, like, the opposite. Like, everything that I didn't have,

I want to just give to her mentally and spiritually and, like, emotionally.
Mainly just showing genuine interest in what she cares about. Just being there for her and trying to understand her for who she is and not try to make her into what I want her to be. 
At the tone, please record your message (beep).
Hey

Bubbles. It's your mom. If you're hearing this 10 years later, just want to let you know how much I love you. You're the best. And I hope you’re living truthfully and being yourself and living in love and not doing mean things to people ‘cause I always tell you that's not nice.
And I just want you to know that you are loved and you're protected and

you can do anything in the world that you wanna do.

Summer offers words of wisdom to her daughter Bubbles while also explaining how manifestation has impacted her experience with Motherhood.

Princess Bubbles

A Hood Fairytale.
My parents kinda raised me, like, with some gender roles, which kind of hindered me.
I had a very skewed image of love—like, what I thought love was from seeing my parents, I thought it was, like, the man provides and he sits on the couch and the woman does

everything else. You gotta cook and you gotta clean and you gotta take care of the kids and you got to sexually, like, please and you just—it's just all gotta come from you. You got to give, give, give, give. Like, that's what you do. But it's like, nobody says that it's a fucking lot.
My dad's Caribbean, so he used to be like—you know, I’d wake up in the morning. He wouldn't even say good morning to me. He'll just be like, "Do the dishes in the sink and cook me some breakfast. I want some eggs. Extra crispy," ordering like

he at a restaurant. Then he’d like, “Yeah and do the laundry," and then he'll snap his fingers and say, "Chop chop."
So they just really gave me this thing where it was, like, the woman just has to give. And that's where most of my relationships had me fucked up at. ‘Cause I'm just giving and giving and giving and giving and giving, and then niggas is not reciprocating, giving back. And I don't— like, I see— I feel that this isn't right. I feel this isn't fair and this isn't right, but I let it slide for so long, like, be in

a relationship for years because I didn't know any better.
I had this ex. I'll call this one The Bum. I will never forget this man. This man was standing in front of me and he spilled a cup of juice. And instead of getting down on his knees to clean up the juice, he wasn't doing anything.
He said,

“Can you get down there and get that?”
He’s standing right there and he's looking down at me, like, “Yeah, clean that up, like, servant.” I was like, “You're not doing anything, dude. Like, just—just get it.” He's like, “No. You get it, bitch.” I'm like, “Oh—” so that was the moment where I'm just like, this can't be right. This can't be right. That's not love, no one who loves you would do that. This shit is not right. I'm

tired. What the hell? But I was like, look, if my parents want to act like that, that's fine, but this shit foul. You're gonna fucking help me, nigga. Get a broom.
My baby daddy was the first person that I tried to, like, have a relationship with who had, like, a real job. I'm like, “Let me try something different.” But he was still trifling so his shit’s still ghetto.
Most of us have had, you know, every type of person. We've had The Bums, we've had

The Teachers, we've had the Clout Chasers, we've had The Abusers, we've had The—everything: The Lame Niggas, The Boring Niggas, The Undercover DL Gay Niggas. We've just had it all. Me and everybody else—we done all went through it.
I just really thought maybe this is what it is. Like, you just wait on people and tolerate them, and I really

was starting to believe that wholeheartedly.
(singing) They all be putting up a front ‘cause they really be bitches deep down inside. ‘Cause they ain't got no daddies.
I thought I was a lesbian for a very long time. I ain't really liked dudes. Even sexually, I thought, like, guys were okay. But it's probably ‘cause they weren't going, you know, the full

mile. I guess niggas was mediocre and I was just like, ‘Eh. Guys are okay. Guess I'm a lesbian.’
Girls are just great sexually. They know what you want, you know what you want, and y'all know what each other want. Guys—they just want to pull it out. Get to it. There's no art form. Guys are just like, “Yeah, let's do it. Right now. Real fast.” They just be tryna get what they want. They're not into, like, stuff, like

girls are, and it's weird ‘cause it could be so much better. Guys are just lazy. PSA: Foreplay.
It wasn't until this relationship where it's like, I can lay back. Like, ‘Oh. I do like dudes. Ohhh, this is how it's supposed to be.’ Now I feel that I can be with a man and be perfectly satisfied and be perfectly fine.
He just want to do it all. He just want to do it all. He just want to do it all.

And it's not even for me—it's for him. He genuinely is pleased by doing whatever he's doing. Could be smelling my foot—he's just elated. It's just great.
He gets upset when I start lifting a finger, when I start doing too much. He want to help. You know, you gotta be with somebody who want to help you, want to make sure you comfortable. Other people who just let you just, you know, just—they just sit back and just let you just run yourself into the ground. They don't care. That's not

cool.
I've had people telling me like, “Oh, you're difficult,” but I wasn't too damn difficult ‘cause I got someone who wants to reciprocate on every single level in the relationship.
I always, like, remember it like it was yesterday ‘cause it was kind of like a fairytale, it was kind of cute. It's a hood fairytale.
I got off work from the club and I was so high, I

guess from a contact high. I don't smoke. It was like the club was so smoked out that when I got to the restaurant—we met at Delia’s—I walked up to him and I never do that.
He told me that I had tried to pay for my food before I even ordered anything. Like, I just walked in, it's, like, 4:00 AM and I'm trying to put my card in and I'm just bustin’ out laughing and the lady’s likelike, “Ma'am you haven't ordered anything yet.” And then after I finally did order my food, I just sat down and I looked at him.
He had a little diamond in his tooth,

green and yellow dreads that are, like, neon, and I was just like, “You look weird. I like that.” It was good that I was high ‘cause I would never have spoken to him on any other day so it was like the perfect day for me to meet him. It was fate.
And then we ended up

talking for eight hours. The sun came up and then we just, like, drove around—it was cute. And then, like, we just went on and off seven years. And then finally he was just like, “Okay, let's just stop playing around. No one else is for you or no one else is for me so let's just stop this shit.”
He's, like, the funniest person I know. Like, he’s so freaking funny. It’s, like—I don't even know. It's so corny that it’s funny. It's, like, you know those bad

pick up lines that make you feel like some old guy is tryna hit on you, like, “Damn girl, back in my day,” like, all of that all day. It’s so funny. “I need a cold glass of water ‘cause you was hot.” Like, it's so lame that it's fucking hilarious. The average person would never get half of the stupid shit that he says. We just act like super stupid people, like, together.
This relationship—super

super super duper uber, like, comfort zone. Trusting someone with, like, really bad anxiety how I have, I feel like I always have to have my guard up with anybody and everybody else. It’s just nice for someone to finally come around and it's, like, I don't got to think about shit. I don’t have to worry about shit. I don’t have to worry about no agendas or nothing. Like, it's just like, I don't have to worry about nothing. I can fart, snatch my wig off, be ugly. Like, I don’t have to worry

about nothing ‘cause I know, like, I can trust this person. Like, with everything.
But he's, like, the best person that I know. He has so much patience. Just swooping in and taking care of someone else's child. Like, yeah. That was just, like, the biggest, most selfless thing. You're not

getting anything out of being up at 6:00 AM with me with this fucking crying baby. It's just love. I appreciate that—making my life easier.
I'm starting to think she fuck with him more than she fuck with me. I'm a little jelly—imma be honest. I come in, I get a cute little smile and everything, but he come in? She get to moving and she'd be trying to tell him—she be tryna talk. I be like, ‘What? Where's that energy for me?

I pushed you out.’
We have this connection that it feels like I've known him many lifetimes. We had a very emotional night one night. We were having a conversation and he had said some things and it hit me and we both just kind of burst out into tears ‘cause I was like,

“Oh shit. It's you! From the last time.”
I don't know if that makes any sense, but it just feels like from the last time, the time before that—‘cause I believe in reincarnation—the time before that and, and he gon’ be there in the next lifetime, I don't know. That's just what it feels like.
It's a very weird feeling, like, this extremely familiar for all eternity. It's weird.
I

don't know if it's, like, just a connection thing or if he can do this with everyone, but it kind of scares me. Like, I feel my heart skip a beat sometimes ‘cause I be thinking that he can read my mind. Whenever I say something in my brain, he'll say it or he'll answer me. Like, if I ask a question in my brain, he'll answer the question. It's the creepiest shit in the world.
It kept happening so much so I was like, I want to see. And I looked at him and I asked something.

And then he looked at me, like—‘cause he was cooking—he wouldn't even worry about me. And then he just turned around and answered my question. I was like, ‘Yo, this is fucking weird.’ Especially for someone like me who feels like I have a very different thought process. And I'm, like—I'm, like, very different. So I often feel, like, alone ‘cause my opinion is often, like, isolated. So it's nice to feel like, ‘Oh. Someone else is here from my little land.’

He's the perfect balance. He's just, like, not even from this planet. It's wonderful.

Summer reflects on her history of toxic relationships and how the prince of her hood fairy tale woke her up to see what she truly deserves from a partner.

A Hood Fairy Tale

Episode 6: How Do We Love Ourselves?
The biggest lie I was taught in school is that we started with slavery. They don't like to get into when we were ruling as kings and queens, the moors,

how we had our own cities and how we were self-sufficient and we didn't need anybody for anything. And we stayed to ourselves and we had the same technology and we had everything and, really, that we had it first.
I didn't know that Tulsa was, like, our own city. What blew my mind was just how big it was. I thought it was, like, a little

town—you know, one bank, one grocery store—but it was, like, huge. Airports and all different types of shit. The racist people—they burnt it down. I thought that was it. But then, we rebuilt. I didn't know that either. And then they destroyed it again. So I was like, ‘Oh wow, that's nuts. I can't even believe we didn't even learn about that.’ They just never said anything once at all in school.
If the curriculum is built by

white supremacists, then they have to start breaking you down mentally to make you feel like you're worthless. So that you won't want to go be shit. You won't want to go be better. You don't think that you'll amount to anything anyway.
It just kind of be nuts to me, like,

how you can, like, actually teach lies, and it be approved in a curriculum. Columbus—he didn't discover shit. People were already there. How is that still in a book? That's why I'm, like, big on homeschool. I'm not paying money for you to come back and I have to unteach you lies.
Black people—we’re not so much physically enslaved anymore. I

know we still have a lot of police brutality and all different types of things. But the mental slavery is so bad. It's so bad. We're just so engulfed in self-hate. I would be ashamed too if I thought I just came from slavery. If I thought that's where my history started, I would be trying to get away from that shit too.
The worst part about it is we don't even know that it's self-hate we don't want to connect with anything

of us. Like, when you get to start talking about spirituality, they're like, “What are you talking about that devil stuff? That herbs, that witchcraft. I just want my white Jesus.” 
Witchcraft? That's your ancestors. That's where you came from. That's what y'all did. That's what y'all do. They've completely taken on the white man's everything. They're disgusted with

themselves and disgusted with their skin, they’re disgusted with their hair, they’re disgusted with their—just—everything. They don't want no parts of their own culture.
Where the self-hate comes in is the European beauty standards that I think is upon all of us. The whole world has been brainwashed. In India, you can all be brown-looking people, but whoever's the darkest

is who's gonna get treated the worst. In Asia, they're a very fair people, but they bleach their skin to get even more fair.
I’mma be honest. I have something to say to our black men. I feel like it starts with them.
I feel that the white people's opinions on us wouldn't sink in so much. If we had that

reassurance from our counterparts. ‘Cause if you didn't get treated like that, I feel like when you go outside and you think that you sexy as fuck and your hair sexy and your lip sexy and your nose sexy and your skin sexy, ain't nobody coming up to you with that bullshit. You going to keep feeling like you sexy.

It's the white people, and then it goes to our black men. A lot of the shit that we deal with is from our black men. That’s self-hate again. You a black guy, you go get you a nice, fine natural sister, and you got your homeboys sitting there, talkin’ about, “Why you with that ugly ass bitch? Man, them black girls—they be doing too much. They too complicated, they too argumentative, they be doing too much—”
Our men gotta hear all that

brainwash talk from they friends. They tell us we not sexy. They tell us we're masculine. They tell us they want some Spanish girl, they want some white girl, they want a foreign girl. And then even if you African, they don't want to count that as foreign. “Well, not that type of foreign. We mean, like, we mean—”
If they treated us like they thought we were attractive and they thought we were the be-all

of all, then, when we come out and we be like, “Damn, I look good, right? In my natural form,” and our men are like, “Hell yeah, you look good,” then when that racist bullshit start coming, it's not even going to phase you like that. It be like, “What are you talking about? My man—our men think we look good.”
I remember I used to tell my mom all the time I wanted locks. “I want locks. I want locks.

I want dreads.” She would always tell me, “No. Why would you want that? They don't look good. They don't look right. That's not professional. That's not—” So my mom was very brainwashed as well.
It's very difficult to not fall into that self-hate just due to how you're treated.
Even to this day, when I wear my natural hair, I get treated like a completely different person. Every time. It's actually nuts.
I can go to the mall with my wig on and

some makeup and people tell me how pretty I am, opposed to I can come in with the afro, I will get no compliments and people will not open doors for you. They will not pull out chairs for you. They will not—they treat you different. So I fall into that. 
When I start to talk about that, a lot of women or black women or black people, they'll be like, “You can't talk

about self-hate. You got your body done. You got your wigs on. You got your nose done.” They like to talk about it like I should be quiet about it because I've done those things. Ego don't stand in the way for me. I can speak from a point of view that says, ‘Yes, I've done those things. I am suffering from a delusion of self-hate due to the conditions that I've been placed in from a child to now.’
This

is the coping mechanism. Getting your plastic surgery, wearing your wigs, covering with your makeup and your creams, and—this is the reaction of trying to avoid being treated like that all day. It's very difficult to not fall into that. If you don't like your hair or you don't like your skin, don't feel bad about that. ‘Cause it's not your fault.
I'll tell you right now. I love my

hair. And I love my skin. I love being natural. When I take off my wig or whatever, whether I have an afro or if I've shaved my head to a fade, I think I'm a sexy motherfucker. It's not until I go outside and I have to hear all these people talkin’ about all this racist shit. If I didn't have to deal with that, I would still feel like a sexy motherfucker.
It's just a big mental

prison that everybody just stuck in, so even when you try to look to your left and to your right, to your peers, to your family, to your husband, you just gettin’ bullshit from every angle so we can't even come together to get it together. We just gotta figure out how to start appreciating who we are and how we look.
That's where we have to figure out how to come together and be strong and embrace our true selves.

Accept what you've done to your body. And now we need to figure out: Where we gon’ go from here? How do we get back to loving ourselves?

Summer delves into how lies, self-hate, and racism affect her everyday life and asks the question, “How do we love ourselves?”

How Do We Love Ourselves?

Hi guys. Summer here. For this episode, I'm going to be answering 21 questions.
1. Describe your mindset in three words.
Productive, anxious, and logical.
2. If you could gain one quality or ability tomorrow, what would it be?
I would be

invisible. So if I have to get revenge on somebody I'll never get caught.
3. What is one of your most awkward memories?
I'm a very awkward person so every day there's numerous awkward situations. Every day is a awkward memory.
4. What's the worst version of hell you can imagine?
Your worst nightmares, your guilt eating away at you—I feel like everybody's hell is

tailored to their individual situation. I personally wouldn't want to speak on what my hell would be, but I wouldn't want to be there.
5. What would be the best version of heaven you can imagine?
Everybody has common sense and everybody is nice and kind and loving and shares. People are fucked up so that would be my heaven.
6. What's your best piece of

dating or relationship advice?
Don't ignore the red flags. You know a red flag when you see it. Some shit that just ain't right.
7. What's your zombie apocalypse survival philosophy?
I'm most likely going to just off myself. I'm not fightin’ nothing that's half-dead and half-alive. No, I'm out of here.
8. When's the last time you farted in front of someone else?

Today. There were people around and I farted ‘cause I'm in my own damn house and they'll have to get over it.
9. What is one of the best failures or losses of your life?
I guess my failed relationships have benefited me in many, many ways, financially and mentally. And I got a lovely baby so

those failures did me justice.
10. Drop the hardest hitting motivational quote you can muster.
I don't have one. I just tell people that people ain't shit so worry about yourself.
11. What's something people would find surprising to learn about you?
That I am a germaphobe. I am extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely clean. And it's funny

because it's, like, been this rumor going on for a while that I don't take showers and that I'm dirty. It's funny ‘cause, like, the people who know me, they'd be like, “What does that mean?”
The rumors started because when I went on tour, they wanted me to take a shower on the bus. That shit is disgusting. I'm not getting in there. And then it's hella people in here getting in there—everybody on the bus getting in there. I'm not getting in there. It's gross.

So I will go to, like, a nice place and go in the bathroom of the place, strip down naked and wash myself with a rag and soap.
I had took a picture one day saying that. I know the internet like to run with everything. Like, I shouldn't have did that, but it was like, “Oh, she don't take showers,” blah blah blah. But the truth is, I didn't want to get in that dirty ass shower.
12. Who was your childhood hero and why?

I do not have a childhood hero. From being older, I can say that my mom has definitely shown me what an independent woman is. And that's my hero as an adult.
13. If all of humanity were to go extinct and you could preserve only one work of art, what would it be and why?
All the old school, soul music, and funk. Soul music

gives the world life and feeling.
14. When was the last time you were angry or bitter? What happened and how did you deal with it? 
When I had just had my baby, from not having the help I wanted. But I'm 90% over it now.
15. What's one of the most out of character things you've done?
Slash tires and stuff. I can't tell you more than

that. (Laughs)
16. When was the last time you felt pure joy?
Every time I hold my baby. It's just bliss and peace and happiness and all at the same time being proud. It's just great.
17. What is one of your most treasured memories?
When my baby was born. It was very hippy

dippy. It was very earthy. It was cute. It was cool. Having my idol there as my doula—Erica Badu was really cool. Having all my midwives there. The whole process was just how I wanted it to go.
18. What's a lesson that has taken the longest for you to learn?
To just worry about myself as a lesson that has taken me the longest to learn, instead of trying to help other people all the time. Focus on yourself. That's what took

me a while to learn.
19. What is love?
Love is beautiful. And fucked up at the same time. I think a true expression of love is selflessness. Like, my boyfriend taking care of my baby is selflessness and love.
20. If you were God and could change one thing about the world, what would it

be?
If I was God, I would give everybody common sense and empathy and we would be cooking. We would be good to go.
21. Take a moment to record a message for yourself to hear one year from now.
You're doing great, and I'm proud of ya. I'm always hard on myself, but I think that's good so that I can keep growing. It does get to be a lot, being hard on myself, but it

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21 Questions with Summer

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